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Saturday, September 24, 2011


WASH DC - Republican leaders strongly criticized President Obama and his administration today, claiming Obama's policy of allowing satellites to fall to the earth will cause an economic slump and cost jobs.  GOP party strategists blamed democrats, including Obama for allowing the 1991 launch of the satellite and called for a Congressional investigation into the incident.

Pots, pans, satellites among DEM-debris
GOP leaders also chastised the administration for not warning earthlings of the decommissioning of the satellite in 2005 and are now seeking answers from The White House on the location of the downed vessel.

"There is an obvious Democratic Party-led cover-up of this near catastrophy of epic proportions and now this administration and its covert agency, NASA, claim no responsibility nor any knowledge of the where-abouts of the satellite in an attempt to avoid congressional scrutiny," said one highly placed GOP Congressman.  "Obama and Nancy Pelosi must answer for this," he added.

Meanwhile, GOP hopeful and rogue candidate and wanna be author Sarah Palin questioned the where-abouts of the satellite from her Alaska front porch, stating, "I used to be able to see the satellite and the stars over there, across the strait in good ol' Russia before this administration brought about cloudy days in my beautiful hockey-Mom lovin' state of Alaska."

GOP leaders noted Texas-based newscasters and astronomers were witness to chunks of space garbage falling to earth from the upper atmosphere and they claimed to see a piece hit the sixth floor window of the Texas Schoolbook Depository while some fell on a nearby grassy knoll. Governor Rick Perry contemplated whether he would seek federal funds to create 100 more minimum-wage jobs for clean-up crews to scour the Texas oil fields in search of the democratic space machine's parts of mass mayhem.  Mitt Romney had no comment.

"This near carnage of a good ol' prarie in West Texas is another fine example of this president's lackluster efforts in government, for the economy and for the environment.  First, he brings up health care reform and plots out a system that might actually work and help people, then he comes up with a well thought-out and long-term plan for taxation and deficit reduction, then his speech the other night about some non-sense of creating jobs. We've created plenty of jobs here in Texas and the people no longer have to wait in line so long at the Waffle House and Taco Cabana.  It's just another fine example of a Northerner, who came from a place that wasn't even a State until 1959, and his plot to ruin our America," said a source close to Perry.

"Wasn't it better when we had 48 States in this union and these people from Hawaii and Alaska were minding their own business?" added the source.

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